3 ways to approach the prenup conversation with your fiance

couple sitting next to each other having a difficult conversation

Not that long ago, most people assumed that a prenuptial agreement was a sign that one spouse didn’t expect the marriage to last. There was a strong negative association with prenuptial agreements, but that has started to change in recent years.

Younger adults considering marriage who have witnessed the divorce of their own parents or watched their friends marry young and get divorced may want to sign a prenuptial agreement before they make a potentially permanent commitment.

How can you bring up a prenuptial agreement if you worry that your fiance will have a negative emotional response? 

Explain your practical concerns

Usually, those considering a prenuptial agreement have a reason for doing so. Maybe you know that you will be the sole beneficiary of your parents’ estate when they die, and you don’t want your spouse to assume they will get half of your inheritance. Perhaps you are about to finish medical school and want to protect your ownership interest in your own medical practice.

Explaining to your fiance that you have something you want to protect as your separate property can be a straightforward way to approach the conversation about a prenuptial agreement.

Talk about the unsavory possibility of divorce

No one wants to think about getting divorced while they are newly engaged. It is much more fun to think about a romantic honeymoon than life six years after that. However, a significant number of marriages end in divorce, and most couples don’t know when they get married if they will be in the group of people whose marriages end in divorce and not death.

By recognizing the statistical probability of divorce, you can take the emotional or personal reaction out of someone’s response to a prenuptial agreement. It is a practical way to protect yourself from something that is a statistical risk even if it is something you hope never happens.

Explore how a prenuptial agreement sets you up for success

In a prenuptial agreement, you and your future spouse agree to terms in the event that you divorce. Still, drafting a prenuptial agreement includes extensive planning and discussions about everything from your financial aspirations to what you want from your spouse throughout the marriage. When you have these sometimes difficult conversations openly, you will enter your marriage with more realistic expectations and shared goals.

Drafting a prenuptial agreement can set you and your spouse up for a successful and healthy marriage.


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